Chinese Wedding Customs

1. What are the Chinese wedding customs?

   There are many Chinese wedding customs but many of them have fallen out of favor over time. Those customs that are still being observed today include the Delivery of Betrothal Gifts (過大禮), the Installing of Bridal Bed (安床), the Fetching of Bride to Groom's House (新娘入門) and the Tea Ceremony (敬茶). Another custom that may be observed but is not popular is the wedding custom called Combing the Hair (上頭). Below is a brief guide to these Chinese wedding customs.
   
   
   

2. What is delivery of betrothal gifts (過大禮)?

   This wedding custom is carried out before the wedding day on a personal auspicious date and hour.
   
   The delivery of betrothal gifts (過大禮) is a formal wedding proposal to the bride's family.
   
   This wedding custom is carried out by the groom to deliver the betrothal gifts to the bride's family. The bride's family is obliged to reciprocate her intention to marry him with return gifts.
   
   The items that go into the betrothal gifts vary with dialect groups and local customs. It is better to consult the both families to agree on the items.
   
   The common items include:
   
   Gifts from Groom's family
   
   • A pair of red packets containing the 'Pin Jin', which is the money for the bride's family.
   • One set of 'Si Dian Jin' 四點金 jewellery consisting of a bracelet, necklace, ring and a pair of ear ring (this is Teochew practice, other dialect groups may follow).
   • Two bottles of liquor.
   • Even number of oranges (most people prefer 6 or 8. Avoid 4 as 4 symbolizes death).
   • Even number of tins of pork legs (most people prefer 6 or 8. Avoid 4 as 4 symbolizes death).
   • Two pairs of dragon and phoenix candles.
   • Even number of boxes of cakes (most people prefer 6 or 8. Avoid 4 as 4 symbolizes death).
   
   Gifts from the Bride's family
   
   • One baby's bath tub set
   • One baby potty set
   • One tea set
   • One face basin
   • Two sets of bath and face towels
   • Two sets of bedroom slippers
   
   
   

3. What is installing the bridal bed (安床)?

   This wedding custom is carried out before the wedding day at the groom's side on a personal An Chuan (安床) date and auspicious hour.
   
   This wedding custom is carried out with the hope that a newly wed couple will quickly give birth to a son after the marriage (早生貴子).
   
   This wedding custom is carried out by a woman with good fortune (好命婦 i.e. one who is healthy and has living husband and son). It involves moving the bridal bed slightly (in the old days, a new bed is used), making the bed with a new set of bed linen and placing a plate containing the items below on the bed. Little boys are invited to roll on the bridal bed.
   
   
   • Two red packets
   • Even number of oranges
   • Dried red dates
   • Dried longans
   • Dried persimmons
   • Dried magnolia petals
   • Lotus seeds
   • Peanuts
   
   The bed will be left undisturbed until the wedding day.
   
   
   

4. What is fetching the bride to the groom's house (新娘入門)?

   This wedding custom takes place on the wedding day on a personal auspicious date and hour.
   
   It involves the groom going to the bride's house to fetch the bride to the groom's house (接新娘).
   
   The groom must not open the car door when he arrives at the bride's house. The car door is to be opened by a young boy. The groom is to give a red packet to the young boy. The groom is to enter the bride's house on an auspicious hour.
   
   The whole process from the moment the groom enters the bride's house to the time the groom fetches the bride to the groom's house is to take place within the auspicious hour. During this period, many activities can take place that will slow down the process. Care should be taken to observe that this wedding custom takes place within the auspicious hour.
   
   
   

5. What is a tea ceremony (敬茶)?

   This wedding custom takes place on the wedding day on a personal auspicious date and hour. It involves the groom and bride serving tea to the parents, elders and family members (敬茶).
   
   By drinking tea, the parents, elders and family members are showing their acceptance of the bride and groom as a new member of the family.
   
   Traditionally, tea ceremony takes place at the groom's house first follow by tea ceremony at the bride's house. The sequence of the tea ceremony may be reversed. It is important for both families to agree on the sequence of the tea ceremony.
   
   When serving tea, the rule is to have the bride on the left and the groom on the right. Tea should be served with both hands holding the teacup while kneeling down.
   
   When serving tea, tea should be served to parents first follow by other members in the family according to their seniority.
   
   In some customs, lotus seeds and two red dates are added in the tea. These items symbolise that the groom and bride would produce children early in the marriage.
   
   
   

6. What is combing hair ceremony (上頭)?

   This wedding custom takes place on the eve of the wedding on a personal auspicious hour. It involves an old lady with a living spouse and having many children to 'style' the hair of the bride.
   
   This wedding custom is carried out with the belief that the newly married couple would live to a ripe old age in marital happiness and have many children.
   
   This Chinese wedding custom is not so popular today.